Well, thank god PSAT is over now. Three hours of testing on a Saturday is definitely not my idea of fun. I’ve been studying all week long for the math section, since English is a breeze for me, but math is a killer ^^;;; I guess now all I can do is wait until January for my results. I really hope I made National Merit, since I need the recognition (and the scholarships) for college. Man, I hate having to wait. I’ll probably be stressing out until then. But usually, it’s when I stress out about tests that I do well. If I come away from a test thinking I did great, I end up doing bad. That’s me, Miss Paradoxical. I feel so-so about how well I did on the PSAT. And of course, now there’s the SAT to look forward to, since my scores from the old SAT I took in January won’t count toward college (which really sucks, since I made a 1480/1600 on the darn thing).

Meh, that’s enough about testing. I don’t want to think about it anymore *mentally pushes it aside*

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For the first time in my life, everything seems to be coming together. School is fine, work is good, my social life isn’t a total loss, and…I’m totally crushing on this guy. Which is definitely a new development ^.^ It probably seems strange, but I’ve never had a real, actual crush before. For the longest time, I didn’t feel attracted to anyone, so I was starting to wonder if there was something wrong with me. But now I know that’s not true at all, which is a relief. This guy, who I’m not going to name, is *hot*. It’s not just the physical attractiveness either; he’s pretty smart and he seems very down-to-earth and laidback. I can’t believe I’m going on like this, but I started daydreaming in class today about him and I just had to get all this out. I can’t stop smiling, either. It’s so weird.

I don’t think anything will come of it (sadly, I lack the confidence to try and snag this guy, and there’s also the issue of my overprotective parents, who don’t want me dating until I’m 18 – we’ll just see about *that* one), but it’s nice to be able to dream

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Wah, a new layout! Totally blew off my homework today and spent most of the time online, catching up on email and checking on my sites, but whatever. I needed the break, hehe.

I love my new layout. It features Drew Fuller, who played Chris “Perry” Halliwell on Charmed during the sixth season (which was one of the show’s best ever, thanks to his character and storyline!) And it doesn’t hurt that he’s *so* hot. I have a thing for scruffy, dark haired guys. And he’s the total embodiment of that look ^.^

Everything’s going good. Just got my report card Friday (all A’s = happy Ann), went on a clinical dry-run (we visited three of the sites we’d be using for our clinical rotation program – dentist, vet, and hospital – the guy driving me was totally crazy, but it was fun ’cause we got to go to IHOP afterward for almost two hours before going back to school), and I actually found time to read a book (The Historian, by Elizabeth Kostova – awesome book by the way, check it out if you’re into the whole historical/vampire stuff).

I had a weird moment early in the day when I was at work, though. I tend to be paranoid about what others might be saying about me (bad habit I can’t kick), and it was like I had this total mood swing into pessmistic paranoia for about twenty minutes – I kept wondering if one of my co-workers didn’t like me and why and what they might be saying about me (this came on because when I walked into the staff room, three of the staff were whispering quietly, and they kind of dispersed when I came in).

I don’t know if it was because they were talking about me, or if it’s because I’m both newer and a lot younger than everyone else that works there, and it’s the whole adults-don’t-trust-teens issue coming into play. Meh. The feeling went away after awhile, but it just left me unsettled for the rest of the day. Maybe I’m just reading too much into the situation. But whatever.

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Yay, all my favorite shows have come back or will this week (Lost, Alias, Charmed, Everwood, Smallville, etc)! I love watching TV; it’s my chance to relax and just enjoy myself.

School is still overwhelming, but not so bad like previous weeks. I’ve finally settled down into a comfortable routine. I’ve also learned that prioritizing is a definite must, because if you don’t organize yourself and know what needs to be done first, you’re going to be totally stressed out and get *nothing* done. I learned this the hard way the first week ^^;;;

I’m getting involved in alot of extracurriculars (Quiz League, HOSA, FBLA, Latin Club), first ’cause it’s fun and second because I know colleges will be looking at that kind thing, and this year is more important than ever for impressing the colleges I want to go to. It’s time consuming, especialy now that I have a job, too, but it keeps me more than busy, which is good.

So that’s my update, since I haven’t blogged in a few weeks, hehe. I’ll try to be better about adding new entries. It’s just I don’t have the time anymore!

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So here we are, four years later since that horrible, tragic day in New York City. Sometimes I look back, and it doesn’t even feel like four years has passed. I can still remember it so vividly, like it just happened yesterday. So much has changed…and so much hasn’t. When 9/11 first happened, everyone was in shock and grieving. Watching the images of chaos and heroism, of life and death, flashing on our television screens, we all whispered a silent promise to better our lives, so that those who lost theirs might be honored.

And yet most of us have fallen back into the same old routine, living life the way we did before any of this ever happened. The government promised us change – but the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina has obviously proved there’s still work to be done. If they couldn’t even handle a natural disaster efficiently, what’s going to happen if there really is another terrorist or nuclear attack? Just something to think about…

My heart goes out to the families of the 9/11 victims. Let us remember the sacrifices they, and so many others before them, made in the name of freedom. Honor their lives, and hold tight to your loved ones and all that you cherish. They never got a chance to say goodbye, another day to live…so live yours to the fullest in their memory.

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